Selam Alikum brothers and sisters !
I live in Europe, and always i was between two worlds, east and west... As i said i live on the west but east is in my heart (Islam)... In high school when i was 17 I met a muslim guy... After some time we started relationship, really that was pure and blind love... We thought we will be forever together...
The problem started 2 years later when our friends started talking like that is funny to be in relationship and don't have sex, that is normal and all people do it... Really me and my boyfriend didn't want do it, but one day a devil came between us, and we did it, there wasn't joy, we didn't do it like other couples do, but whatever i lost my virginity...
That was first and last time...It's my biggest mistake ever, both of us regret! We felt a big pressure and I said to him I don't have any man in my life... After that I complately changed my life, I returned to Islam, I've learned from my mistake and that is like black spot on my heart...
I spend days and months to pray to Allah for forgiviness and I put Islam on the first place in my life... Now I am 23 and this is time for looking for husband and family, but I am afraid that I will not find a good muslim, because he will never accept me although I changed and follow Islam now!!
Every night I spend in crying and regret, because of my mistake... Really I don't know what I have to do, I wish someone can give me advices...
Allah bless you !
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